So wait a minute, it was World Bicycle Day the other day and nobody told me????
World Bicycle Day is of course a key part of the globalist conspiracy to herd you all into 15-minute cities and force you to eat bugs:
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), safe infrastructure for walking and cycling is also a pathway for achieving greater health equity. For the poorest urban sector, who often cannot afford private vehicles, walking and cycling can provide a form of transport while reducing the risk of heart disease, stroke, certain cancers, diabetes, and even death. Accordingly, improved active transport is not only healthy; it is also equitable and cost-effective.
And no, I’m not kidding:
When you used to hear chirping sounds on the group ride you could be fairly sure it was someone’s chain, but now it could just as easily be the energy bar in their jersey pocket.
But yes, it’s true, no mode of transport is more equitable than cycling. Are you looking to stay healthy, live longer, and save money in the process? Or are you looking to blow $20,000 on a bike only to get killed by a distracted driver? No matter how you answered, cycling is the right choice.
And let’s not forget that cycling will somehow stop climate change:
Even though according to those graphs people love to post it coincides pretty much exactly with the invention of the modern bicycle:
Ergo ipso facto bicycles cause climate change.
Hey, who am I to deny the science?
Meanwhile, New York City yielded to its globalist overlords by temporarily renaming a tunnel:
They called it the “World Bicycle Day Bike Underpass:”
NEW YORK – New York City Department of Transportation Commissioner Ydanis Rodriguez today announced that the First Avenue Tunnel has been temporarily renamed the ‘World Bicycle Day Bike Underpass’ in celebration of World Bicycle Day on June 3. In 2018 the United Nations General Assembly declared June 3 as World Bicycle Day, recognizing the global impact of the bicycle on humanity. For over 200 years, the bicycle has revolutionized transportation for people around the world. World Bicycle Day is about celebrating the health, environmental, and social benefits of riding a bike. Cycling connects riders to essential infrastructure and services like education and healthcare, provides a healthy form of exercise, and contributes to cleaner air and less congestion on our streets.
Why the superflous “Bike” in the name, though? Why not just call it the “World Bicycle Day Underpass?” Not that I care about what they call stuff on First Avenue, mind you–I’m far more concerned with matters that impact me directly, such as the ongoing Hudson River Greenway closure:
Yet as much as it annoys me, I think maybe other people complaining about it annoys me even more. For example, consider this rhetorical question:
Tell us, would car owners put up with a crucial road closed for months with no detour?
Uh, there are congestion clusterfucks in this city that have been going on as long as I’ve been alive. Also, there is a detour, despite claims to the contrary:
“That’s not a detour, it goes to a different place, up a whole bunch of hills, it’s a different route,” Dave Thom, one of the principal organizers of the Inwood Owners Coalition. “It doesn’t start in the same spot, it doesn’t end in the same spot, and it involves a completely different set of circumstances.”
Yeah, what Dave is describing there is exactly a detour. Sure, it may not be the literal dictionary definition of the word, but whether we’re talking about driving or cycling or walking or anything else it’s probably the best practical explanation of what a detour is that I’ve ever read.
And yes, I’m still annoyed about the detour, but at least they’re fixing it. And that’s good World Bicycle Day news for the “poorest urban sector” and the monied Freds on their rapidly depreciating Canyons alike:
Okay, it’s the company’s shares and not the bikes themselves that are depreciating, but still:
Canyon suffered a net loss of €38 million (£32m) last year, with the investment company who bought just over 50 per cent of the business in 2020 for €400 million (£337m) now saying their shares are worth 43 per cent less than in 2023 and 35 per cent less than what they invested five years ago.
I guess that’s why Canyon is now takin’ it to the river:
Like a prostitue moving from the hotel bar to the street corner, Canyon is looking to meet “a new consumer:”
Targeting casual to intermediate riders, Canyon’s Amazon storefront has bikes ranging from just over $1,000 to $5,599.
So basically they’re saying goodbye to PNS…
And hello to Sponeed:
Sponeed does sound like something a PNS would leave behind, doesn’t it?
